Sunday, October 17, 2004

sigh.. sometimes its really ironical.. you wan love so badly.. and when shes right before you.. even in your arms.. you don't realise how much you love her.. but when shes gone.. only then you realise how much she means to you.. only then you realise that shes all you ever wanted.. that shes whom you've been waiting for all these while.. but its too late when you realise that.. sigh.. i really miss you jes..
thousands of times i thought i'm in love before.. it never felt like this.. the hurt.. the misses.. I just can't help but think of you.. so many times I thought its just a relationship.. but only now I realise how much you mean to me.. and you're the one whom I wished for.. but at this very moment.. you're already in someone else's arms.. I try hard to tell myself to accept it.. but if only it is so easy.. I wouldnt be living my life this way now..
these days.. I often look into the mirror.. but I cant recognise the person in there.. I feel that I can't recognise myself anymore.. I don't understand myself.. I dunno wat am I living for.. so much so.. I'm getting more n more used to being alone.. so much so that I'm becoming more n more like a loner.. drifting away from everyone..
I had many gals in my arms the past few days.. but yet I still feel so lonely.. so lonely without u jes.. the nights become especially cold.. I realised only you can make me feel warmth.. but now you're taking the warmth away from me.. and will nv grant me another moment of warmth again.. Jes.. I love you.. I really do.. but I know you don't anymore..

- Lost Soul #3385 -

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